'The Color Purple', Actress, Desreta Jackson

0:05Jawad MirWell, thank you for, joining Jasrita on Kingdom of Dreams podcast. I really appreciate it. I wanted to chat with you about your wonderful and powerful work in The Color Purple. I saw the film again after a long time, and nothing takes me away more than the scene where the sisters were separated. I mean, that's still, you know, one of the most powerful scenes. Probably for me, the most powerful scene in that film, but one of the most powerful scenes in cinema in terms of emotional, and the way it was done and the way the performances were. So kudos to you on that, first of all.

0:44Desreta JacksonOh, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Thank you.

0:49Jawad MirGreat. I, let's just start with how did you get into acting? Was that your first film, or was there stuff before that? What inspired you to get into acting?

1:01Desreta JacksonThat was my first film. And, in fact, that was my first anything. I wasn't even... I never did a commercial or even had an agent. I was going to,.. I was in, you know, junior high, and I had just came to the US, probably just a few years ago before that. And, I was living in South Central, and I was having a hard time with adjusting 'cause I had a really strong accent. A… and I was being, you know, like getting into fights, and I... It was a lot of drama just being over here, being a foreigner with a strong accent. And then I was coming into a very di… you know, very rough area. So I was going to school, and I to… it was actually like a English class.

2:03Desreta JacksonThis teacher had this one... She wanted to do, like, a dramatic scene that we was gonna read, from some poetry, but she wanted us to actually act in it and do some what she introduced to me was called ad lib, and I didn't know that at the time. So I got up in front of the class with another young girl, and I gave it my own interpretation, and we went into this dramatic scene where I started crying. I was angry. And the whole class, other people were supposed to, you know, participate, but we... They watched our scenes for the whole class, and the classroom started crying, and everyone started getting emotional. And at the end of it, the teacher was like, "Okay, cut, scene." And she was like, "You were fabulous." And I left there, like literally right after that class, I was like, "I love this."

3:11Desreta JacksonI felt for, like, that one hour, I was like in another world. I forgot about I didn't have food at home. I forgot that I was... On my way home, I was about to have about two or three fights. This was just standard. I was trying to be... They was trying to recruit me for a gang. I was like, oh my God. It was so much drama. So but for that moment, I was in another world. And as soon as I got home, I told my mother, and I was like, "Okay, so it's a thing called acting." "I wanna do this." and I remember my mother saying to me, "We don't really have the money for all of that, for the classes." But she said to me that, as long as I ate at school, all my lunch, you know, breakfast, she could take that money and put me in acting class.

4:12Desreta JacksonAnd I was…

4:12Jawad MirWow.

4:13Desreta JacksonYeah, I was like, "No problem." So that was the deal, and that's how I got into acting.

4:20Jawad MirWow. Wonderful. And that, do you think that moment that when you first acted in the class and that all that emotion that came out, was that from a place where you were, you know, from a unknown place or a known place where things probably weren't going your way and that, not necessarily rage, but that despairness or that anger or that trying to adjust into another country came out of that, do you feel?

4:48Desreta JacksonIt sounds like... I definitely believe that it was some kind of escape, because it goes further back. Once I did get The Color Purple, I had tons of family members that would tell me on the island as a little girl, I have this memory where I would walk barefooted to the beach with my cousins, and I'm talking about I've gotta be, like, five years old. And they would say to me that, "You will always tell us, 'One day, I'm, you're gonna be a movie star.'" "I'm gonna be a movie star."

5:20Jawad MirWow.

5:21Desreta JacksonAnd I do remember this particular scene in my head, but that at the time was a way that I would escape certain situations even back then. So I could definitely see that, yes, when the situation came, it was this moment of I could just... I mean, I connected to whatever it is. I mean, I w… I went in fully. I went in. I went... I committed fully. And to this day, I'm just... Sorry, I gotta say this. To this day, which is crazy, even though I just came back into acting a couple months back, a week, I won't even say a couple months, about a week, but even during the time when I wasn't acting… I incorporated in every, like I would tell my kids bedtime stories, and we would act. We would have…

6:13Desreta Jackson... Courtroom scenes and every day it was like a, I mean, I still was constantly acting, and for whatever reason, I still was going to acting classes, and acting schools, and plays, and sometimes my teacher would be like, "What is the purpose in your not... Are you gonna get back into the business?" And I'm like, "I just love this. The purpose is I love it. I just wanna keep growing." Like, that was my moment, so yeah, I think there was a connection there. Yes.

6:42Jawad MirWow, so it's a, it's a happy place for you. And wh… wh… wh… where did you come from, to United States? Which, was it another part of the world? Which, where did you migrate from?

6:53Desreta JacksonThe British Virgin Islands.

6:55Jawad MirOkay. And, how did you land Color Purple?

7:02Desreta JacksonWell, this one is, I say it's God, my story for that one, because remember when I told you earlier that I wanted to get into acting school? So my mother found this school called, it was, you know who Marla Gibbs is? Marla Gibbs from Good Time, from The Jeffersons, I'm sorry. From The Jeffersons.

7:22Jawad MirThe Jeffersons.

7:22Desreta JacksonShe had a acting school in the, in South Central, and I started going there. And it was very affordable, and I was doing good, but I was consider… I had, like, a little ego 'cause I literally was like, I felt like I was the best one. I mean, I was like, I wasn't really learning a whole lot. I had, I think, maxed out my learning potential. I don't know how that sounds, but I was really cocky. I was feeling good. I was on top of it. And but it was still costing us. One day my mother saw a newspaper ad for another school called Rainbow Connection that said, "Free classes." So we was like, "Let's go here." So but it was much further, so we went all the way there. When I got there, the lady, we did the interview and the audition, and she came back and said to my mom, "I really would like to have her. I think she's talented. I think we could take her to a new level.

8:25Desreta JacksonIt's very important. I know the classes are expensive." And then my mother was like, "Well, it said free." And she said, "Oh no, that was a misprint. We're actually clearing that up." And my mother was like, "I can't afford any more." But after that first session with that lady, her name was Joyce Sylvester, and this was now at Kim Fields' mother's school, called Chip… Chip Fields, called Rainbow Connection. I was like, that one session with her, I felt something different, and I begged my mother. I was like, "No," like, "I really wanna..." Like, "I'm grown. I wanna do more. I could do more here." So we made a re… arrangement again, and where I would catch the bus, come there, and now it was like, you know you only got dinner coming. And I was so go… I mean, we, I was so good. I was like, "I'll get a little job. I'll, I'll beg, I'll do whatever I gotta do.

9:26Desreta JacksonI'm doing this." Literally, I wasn't even there for, like, a whole week or two weeks, and The Color Purple audition came up, and the lady, Joyce Sylvester, said, "I think your daughter can do this." And she, I didn't have a picture. I didn't have,.. No, I had pictures at the time, but I didn't have a resume. She was like, "I'll put everything together." She went and submitted it to the open c… they had, like, a casting call, which is like a…

9:54Jawad MirRight

9:54Desreta Jackson... Cattle call for, it was going all over the world. And so, she submitted it, and they called me in. And when I say it was like a rollercoaster r… after that, I mean, it was, it went so fast, it just kept going and going. Now here's the funny thing I never told no one. The other school that I left, after I did The Color Purple, after I already got the role, went to North Carolina, went all over, filmed, did the role, I was now Celie. They called, and told my mom. They was like, "Can you come into the office for a minute?" I came to the, we went to the office. We were standing there, and the lady said, "There's a movie that I think your daughter would be great for. Sh… it will be playing the role of Ce… Celie's daughter, the young one. It's not much speaking role.

10:55Desreta JacksonYou get to fly to Africa. It's like a one-line scene." And I was looking at her thinking, "Wait a minute. You're calling me to play the role, the extra role that I just cast?" And so my mother said, "She did get the role. She S… she's Celie in the new Spielberg movie." And they was like lip, they was like, "What?" And I thought that was ironic. Like, I was so glad that I did transition at the time, that God did send me to, I guess, where I'm supposed to be, and that was just, like, that was crazy that they called me for that.

11:37Jawad MirThat is crazy. That is totally crazy, and when you got the part, or well, before you got the part, what scene did you get auditioned for or th… that you think allowed you to get that part?

11:53Desreta JacksonThat's funny you ask that. I feel like you already know this question since you worked with me…

11:56Jawad MirI do, but it's, it's, but it's for, but it's for the audience, right? It's, yeah. It's, it's probably the one that I like.

12:07Desreta JacksonSpielberg, which, I mean, to this day, I've never had an audition like he, like he put together. They had me to come down to a, like a theater. And when I went to the theater, I walked in the room, and when I say to you there was people sitting out in the balcony, I guess the producers and everybody, but I couldn't see nothing. It was pitch black. But Spielberg decided to act with me, and we was on a stage. And he would just, he would just na… he would tell me what the scene was, and then say, you know, "Action." And the scene, he said, "I want you to pretend that you're, that you're protecting your little sister. There's a man coming who wants to, you know, marry her." And we just went into this ad lib. And so I did the scene, and I just remember, you know, like, doing little things like covering my mouth whenever I smiled and being very protective and doing the ad lib.

13:17Desreta JacksonAnd that scene ended up being... He was like, "We went to Amblin." I had to... He wanted to redo that scene again. Now we was taping with his cam, with his camcorder. We was in his office. We was redoing that scene. He acted with me again. He literally... They kept calling me back over and over, and Spielberg would be the person. He would, he was on full control. He would do, he would be the person I'm reading with, and they would put me on film, and it was always that scene. And I remember there was a time when right after I did the, you know, like smiling, and he said to me, "Why are you doing that?" And I was like, and I'm thinking like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know. It's just that's the way I feel, like I'm embarrassed to sh… like I'm not proud enough or confident enough to show my smile. I don't do it a lot." Well, the character, I didn't feel like Celie, me, didn't do it a lot.

14:17Desreta JacksonAnd he said, "No, I like that. Keep it." And then I mean, for me it was kinda like, "Oh, okay. He's, he's gonna make me…" "... Good." I was appreciative of it, but, it was little things. That scene, I think that, combination kinda helped it.

14:37Jawad MirWhat... It doesn't surprise me, but I still would like to know. We are always... There's always an opposite side of all of us inside us that either we prevent from getting out, or we don't know that it exists. And you said earlier that, you know, when you were in school you were very cocky and all on that and stuff, and then the role that you got in Color Purple was complete opposite, like a meek, you know, quiet, scared girl. How... W… was that something always, inside you that was coming out? Or like how did you drive that out if it wasn't?

15:17Desreta JacksonYou ask really great questions. We're like therapy. Actually, yeah, I think subliminally I totally got Celie. I knew who she was. And to, you know, I mean, just to be transparent, on the island, m… I was personally being mo… molested by my stepfather.

15:45Desreta JacksonSo, and it was one of those situations where even though my mother was aware of it, she wasn't, protective of me concerning it. It was kinda like, "Sh, shut up. I don't wanna hear it." I have memories of if I brought it up to her, she ignored me, and that would be the day or, that I wouldn't eat or she wouldn't talk to me, or it would be something like she just would ignore that I said that, and she would then penalize me. Now that I'm older, I realize I was being conditioned to shut up because that would be the day she'll call on the phone, and she'll be call my auntie or someone and say, "Oh, Desreta just being so bad." You know? She just, she talking so much, and she'll just start talking bad. And I was like five years old, and I could process the concept of like, "Shut up," you know?

16:49Desreta JacksonSo I dealt with it, accepted it. And I also believe that's where that part of me would go, and I would be like, "One day I'm gonna be a movie star. I'm gonna be out of here. I'm gonna be gone. I'm gonna have a different life." I would go into that process for me.

17:10Desreta JacksonAnd I knew it was pretty deep because when I was on the islands, I... A lot of people don't know that for probably six months out of every single year I would be paralyzed. So I would... This would be, I guess, during the summertime. I didn't move in bed. I would be... The doctors didn't know why. My mother didn't take me, you know, out. I just stayed in the bed, and for whatever reason, from my waist down I didn't move. I couldn't walk. So food had to be brought in to me or, you know, like help me go to the bath… I really was paralyzed, and I think I disconnected something in my head. So when that role when I read that character, I think unconsciously I was like, "Oh, I know who that is. I know her. I get her." It wasn't that hard to process it.

18:06Jawad MirWell, sorry I brought up that question. I didn't mean to take you into a place where it's not that, comfortable. But I now feel that… You know, s… your story's far more powerful than what's in Color Purple. You know, like, just listening to you and what you, what you went through, I mean, I can't even imagine. And then the way you are strong enough to talk about it and brave enough, I mean, it's not some... A lot of people don't talk about ever till, you know, they take it to their grave. So I would like to say kudos to you for doing that, and I appreciate you sharing that.

18:46Desreta JacksonOh, thank you. Thank you. Well, I mean, I waited till I was an adult to share it, so I… I'm strong enough, strong enough…

18:52Jawad MirYeah, but still it's, it's hard, you know, even as an adult, because you're still y… you're, you're still being perceived by society or people around you, but, it… it's not that simple. And you know, w… working on Color Purple, one of the things I really loved, and I actually watched it again last week, and I, and I observed something. So I knew I was gonna speaking to you, so I'm thinking, "Okay, the movie's two and a half hours long, right?" And I have seen it a couple of times, like last time I saw it maybe 10 years ago, and another last time was 20 years ago. And I'm thinking, "Okay, how much of a role do you have in this film?" So it wasn't until the 30 or 33-minute mark when, you know, it transitions into Whoopi Goldberg playing your character, and what... I f… I love that, and obviously it's not surprising from Spielberg's standpoint, but had that film been made even today or 10 years ago, your role probably would've been, like, five minutes, you know? You know what I mean? And that's what makes the film so great, is that the attention, obviously the credit goes, to Alice Walker, but you know, the attention to your role being shown in the film for the duration it did, because I connected to yo… nothing against Whoopi.

20:06Jawad MirI mean, she was phenomenal, too. I mean, that's what it was introduced to... She introduced to the world through that. But I connected to the young, you know, Celie, as opposed to the older, more... For whatever reason, I have no idea. And I,.. What was the most difficult scene to film, not in terms of emotion, but in terms of retakes, on the film, that, during your process?

20:35Desreta JacksonThe s… the scene where they were separating us, it was emotionally draining, and it was physically painful. You know, they padded me, 'cause they knew we was gonna pull down the stairs, right?

20:53Jawad MirYeah.

20:53Desreta JacksonAnd the scene, I was supposed to go, I was supposed to hit every step. Boom. So they padded me. But within the first hit, boom, all the, all the pads was gone. They j… they adjusted, they moved away. And then I just was going boom, like two or three steps, boom. And it was so... On top of it, I was so emotionally invested, and the emotion then took away for the, you know, like, the pain I was feeling. But we repeated that scene. It was so good that it was so many different angles and different things they wanted to get from…

21:35Jawad MirYeah

21:35Desreta Jackson... We repeated that scene, and every single time, I mean, that emotion had to be, like, just, like, right there. So I invested every single moment. By the day we was done with that scene, I slept for, like, two days. I was just sleep. I was just in bed sleeping, just resting. I was out. Almost two days went by before I realized, "Man, I'm so n..." Oh, my God. I was so emotionally drained…

22:07Jawad MirYeah

22:07Desreta Jackson... And physically. That was definitely the,.. And one of my favorite scenes. I've gotta... Like, one of my favorite scenes as well, because…

22:17Jawad MirThat's amazing

22:18Desreta Jackson... There's so much going on. Yeah.

22:20Jawad MirA… a… and, you know, if you actually take that scene by itself, right, from the moment, you are going to be separated till, you know, you wave each other goodbye or, you know, do that game, that, if that was a film by itself, it could, it could be a film by itself because there's just so much... You don't need to know the context. You don't need to know any… You just need to know that two sisters are gonna be separated, and that's it. And that's what makes so…

22:52Desreta JacksonIt's powerful.

22:52Jawad MirYeah, it's insane. And you know, for me in that scene, the most powerful scene wa… the shot was when it cuts to a wide angle and you guys run towards this, the, you know, grab this little tree branch or whatever and then you hold onto it, you know, as if that's the only safety you have. And again, I can't stress this enough, just that the performances in there makes that scene, you know? Even Danny Glover is like, you know, as mean as he is, his performance…

23:26Desreta JacksonPoor Danny.

23:28Jawad MirLike, I…

23:29Desreta JacksonHe's a wonderful actor

23:29Jawad Mir... A… and you know, it's, I have seen so many Danny Glover's movie, right? Like Lethal Weapon, and there's so much stuff, but I'd forgot he was Danny Glover in that movie.

23:41Desreta JacksonYeah.

23:42Jawad MirThat's how good he did, you know? I actually hated his character, but kudos to his acting.

23:49Desreta JacksonYou sound like everyone... I feel horrible when people come into my chats or comments and they're like, "I hate Danny Glover" to this day. I'm like, "Oh, my God, he is so nice."

23:58Jawad MirNo.

23:58Desreta JacksonHe is…

23:58Jawad MirI don't, I don't hate, I don't hate him. I, the, what I'm, I'm actually trying to say I hated his character.

24:04Desreta JacksonCharacter, right.

24:06Jawad MirBut I, he's an amazing actor. He's an amazing actor.

24:09Desreta JacksonYes. I would love to do another project with him before,.. I have, like, a couple wishlists. Like, I would love to work with, Whoopi again and Danny Glover, one more time. Like, those two people just… I don't know. The, it all…

24:26Jawad MirWell, you worked with Whoopi on Sister Act, right?

24:29Desreta JacksonI did and didn't.

24:31Jawad MirBecause that's what it says on IMDb, and Sister Act I've seen several times, and I can't recall where were you. Was it cut out?

24:37Desreta JacksonYes. Well, the majority of the film was cut out. So literally the whole concept was supposed to be around these street girls, and, you know, kinda what they did in Sister Act Two…

24:52Jawad MirYeah. I can see

24:53Desreta Jackson... Was supposed to be in Sister Act One.

24:54Jawad MirOh.

24:55Desreta JacksonSo I was part of,.. And they cast these wo… you know, these street girls, and then something happened during the set. I don't know what was going on during the time, so they kept cutting it. I mean, I had a wonderful vacation in San Francisco, but they kept, like, telling us, "We're gonna come, we're gonna come." So most of the scenes that we did do end up having to c… be cut out, 'cause they had to re-ski… they had to restructure the movie, like, while they was doing the movie. So I'm one of those girls you see, there's a scene where you see some street girls showing the nuns how to dance.

25:32Jawad MirOh, okay. I gotta watch that again, because that c… was pretty quick.

25:34Desreta JacksonYeah.

25:34Jawad MirIt was pretty quick.

25:36Desreta JacksonYes. And so you'll see, like, Zlateta Betty, who is a really good friend of mine now. She's a director. And you'll see, like, the other people in it, and we was like there, and you're like, "Oh, why are you there?" Like an extra, like a really good extra.

25:54Jawad MirYeah. Yeah.

25:54Desreta JacksonSo it did,.. It got cut out, and so s… what you're seeing in Sister Act Two is kind of the story that they were supposed to have for Sister Act One…

26:04Jawad MirRight

26:04Desreta Jackson... For the street girls.

26:06Jawad MirRight. And when The Color Purple was done, and you probably saw an early screening before it was released to the public, what was your emotions, like? You know, just, not just watching as, you know, obviously seeing yourself, which every b… human being would appreciate. Like, "Okay. I'm part of something really big and important." But at the same time, just the film itself.

26:32Desreta JacksonSo funny. You g… you know, like I said, it was my first time anything, so I didn't know what to expect. I did get to go see a screening they had, and, I saw a lot of different screenings, actually. I got, I went to, like, two or three screenings of it, and watching it, I was able to see how they put everything, kinda like just how everything was put together. And me watching me, just the story, how it was put together, I got invested in me. I was like, "Poor Celie." I was like...

27:09Jawad MirWow.

27:09Desreta JacksonI mean, I literally was like that was a third person I was watching, and I, to this day, when I look at the little girl in me, when I try to tell myself, like, you know, "How are you gonna, you know, take care of the little girl in you?" I actually see Celie.

27:30Desreta JacksonSo, I mean, it was like a, like a 3D situation. It was amazing. It was amazing. Except I do have a issue that I'm glad I'm gonna put on your podcast. I didn't get invited to the Oscars, and the Oscars owe me a invitation still. I was like, "Wait a minute, this movie is nominated?" I was just like... I was like, "Oh my God." I was so stoked, like I thought I'd be able to go. I never got invited.

28:01Jawad MirOh.

28:03Desreta JacksonSo yeah, I'm putting that out there to put into the universe.

28:06Jawad MirWell, maybe that's a setting ground for you to do something else and be nominated for that.

28:17Desreta JacksonI actually had a dream about that, but I'm like, "Okay."

28:23Jawad MirWere you... I mean, it was a big controversy back then, but I think it's bigger now. It was nominated for 11 Oscars, and, you know, it didn't win a single one. Out of Africa, which was Robert Redford and Meryl Streep, took away pretty much everything. Man, Out of Africa was a great film, but, you know, how did you feel at the time? I mean, I feel that at least Best Picture and Best Actress and Actress, Supporting Actress should have gone to Color Purple, among other things, if that was to be picked. But what did you feel at the time? Did you feel anything, being that young, that, "Why is this happening?" Or was it, like, just, eh, it's just regular thing in your world?

29:04Desreta JacksonHonestly, because I had no idea of what to expect, 'cause I wasn't from the, you know, like, Hollywood and the standard…

29:12Jawad MirYeah

29:12Desreta Jackson... And I was, I was young. I wasn't even into the political aspects of it or nothing.

29:17Jawad MirYeah.

29:17Desreta JacksonOnce the movie was done and it was over, I mean, I was just, I'm just grateful even to this day. I'm just like, being a part of that movie changed my legacy. Like, being cast changed my legacy, and my kids can benefit. My life is, you know, different. The experience is different.

29:38Jawad MirYeah.

29:38Desreta JacksonSo I mean, at the time, I had no cl… I had no political, you know, I had nothing invested politically or what is standard or who won, who didn't win. I was just happy. I was like…

29:52Jawad MirFair enough. But that's, that's interesting you mention that, right? And I think if you look at, your childhood, my childhood, or people from our generation, we were never politically invested in the things as kids now are in almost every single thing.

30:09Desreta JacksonRight? That's not true. I mean, and it's not like to say we wasn't aware of, like…

30:16Jawad MirYeah

30:16Desreta Jackson... Right, it be other things going on.

30:19Jawad MirYeah. Yeah.

30:21Desreta JacksonI was…

30:21Jawad MirI mean, there was e…

30:22Desreta JacksonI was politically invested in food.

30:26Jawad MirThere you go.

30:27Desreta JacksonHaving a meal.

30:30Jawad MirYeah, that… that's, it's, it's, that's interesting you mention that, right? Like, when, like, when you're an immigrant, even if you have three meal a day or not, you're going through so many other things, adjusting, culture shock, dealing with so many different thing, trying to find who the heck you are, you know, in that world, that you don't have time for all the stuff that... I don't know if the kids now coming in have that. I c… I also think that because of internet, everything is just so wide open. At the time, we didn't have internet, so, but…

31:01Desreta JacksonNo. It changes the game

31:03Jawad Mir... But, it did, but why did you stop acting for a while? Was it s… something you wanna take a break from? Or, and you, and you said you're coming back into it.

31:13Desreta JacksonYeah. Yes. I just signed with a new agency, a week ago, so

31:18Jawad MirOh, good

31:18Desreta Jackson... Yeah, so I'm coming back. I took a break specifically, right after The Color Purple, couple years right after The Color Purple, I was raped, and, there was a emotional, psychological process that was happening to me during that time, especially since the person was what I realize to this day we would consider a fan. So that process, and then still going out to auditions,.. And by the way, I was impregnated at the time, and then I kept the baby.

32:05Desreta JacksonAnd, that process that I was going through mentally was, difficult. So when I would go to auditions, I think it just was a matter of the mental stability. Like, even going into Hollywood and going to parties and going, and dealing with the whole…

32:28Jawad MirYeah

32:28Desreta Jackson... Hollywood circle. I'll give you example. Like, Margaret Avery, who played Shug Avery in the movie… ... The whole Color Purple knew I was raped. They, you know, reached out to me. And she threw me a baby shower, and they had Stevie Wonder there, and he was playing, like, he was singing to me at her house. I had, it was like a star-studded, like, everybody was coming together and being there, but yet mentally I was now kinda, like, broken. And I decided that I wasn't liking the way that I was being presented in Hollywood, or the things I was fight… I wasn't ready for the fight. I wasn't, I wasn't familiar with Hollywood. I wa… I didn't really have, like, a team of people to help me. And then at home I was on another battle front, psycholog… there was a lot of psychological problems…

33:33Desreta Jackson... With at home for my mother and the environment. So I made a stance to work on me first.

33:40Jawad MirWow.

33:40Desreta JacksonAnd I had to pull away. And I knew it was gonna be hard. I felt like even just in the industry, I kinda felt like I was being pushed back, like, you know, like, "Why are you leaving?" Like, "What is that about?" And, but I kinda made the decision for my mental health, and to this day, it was the best thing I did, developing who I was, understanding who I am, finding, you know, my strength, what my purpose is, the kinda woman I am today. I couldn't be this kind of wo… woman if I had purs… pursued Hollywood in that mental state.

34:22Jawad MirHow old were you when you left Hollywood?

34:26Desreta JacksonI was about, I was technically, I think, 18. I was, when the situation happened, I went back into, I went back and, you know, tried to audition. I did do some, you'll see, like, Macusa FBI, some different shows that I did. Like I said, I just, I just couldn't. I couldn't, deal with it. So I mentally stepped back.

34:54Jawad MirYou know, that's actually quite mature of you to be at 18 and to let go of something that, you know, at the, at that age, we all, I shouldn't say we all, majority of the people in that age would love that kind of bling, that attention, and that, you know, that feel. To, for you to do that at that age, bravo. You know, to know that, to be mentally aware of that's, that's called awareness, and you certainly had that. And th… that, I applaud you for that. I mean, that's incredible.

35:24Desreta JacksonThank you.

35:26Jawad MirI really feel that you should write your own, story and turn it into a film. I mean, it's a very powerful story.

35:34Desreta JacksonI really want to. I've been literally contemplating, that, you know, that takes a lot, though. But I have. I really have.

35:44Jawad MirWhat's holding you back?

35:47Desreta JacksonOh. Oh my God, the time. Just writing it is, the time. I've started it. I'm, I'm, I'm not even joking with you. I mean, I appreciate you…

35:57Jawad MirGood

35:57Desreta Jackson... Even bringing that up and saying that, but I actually have started it, and, that helped me to reflect some things as well. It's great therapy. But I just, I think I would want to give it justice, and I think I'm not at the point right now to, like, I want it, well, if I do write it, I want it to be read. I want it to be, I want it to be seen. I want it to be heard. I'm not at the point right now that I can do it, that it can be put out there the right way. But, yeah. I'm definitely, thank you know, for the encouragement.

36:37Jawad MirNo, it's, it's, you should, and if you can't write it, I would suggest just use the voice app on your phone, and just whenever you have that emotion, record it, and then you can always go back to it and, you know, pull it up. I mean, that's how I work. That's, that's the kinda stuff that I work on in the films that I do. I always have s… something going on, and I'm always recording and listening. And I'll listen to it two months down the road. It's either gonna be the most crappiest thing I've ever come up with, or it'll be the most incredible thing.

37:07Desreta JacksonThat is a really good... Thank you. I am g… I'm gonna actually incorporate that. I'm really gonna do that. Thank you.

37:15Jawad MirYeah.

37:15Desreta JacksonMan, it make it look easy to talk about it. It really is.

37:19Jawad MirNo, it... And, yeah, no, it's, it's phenomenal. And now that Color... Do you know about the new Color Purple that's coming out this year, right?

37:27Desreta JacksonYes.

37:28Jawad MirAnd are you excited? It's, it's a musical. I think it's at a different way of... Spielberg is producing it, but are you excited to look, see it?

37:40Desreta JacksonI don't know if I'm excited to see it.

37:42Jawad MirScared?

37:45Desreta JacksonI mean, I'm being totally honest. They did go all out star-studded with the cast, and that's literally part of, like... It's a oxymoron for me 'cause I'm partly like, "Oh my God, I've got to be there, and I gotta see this." And then the other part is like, "how is this gonna... You know, where are we going with it? Like, how's it gonna..." So I'm just curious. I'm a… I'm really just curious, and I'm excited just to be, there. I'm h… I am hoping to try to go.

38:19Desreta Jackson... So but yes. That's gonna be interesting. I'll give you my opinion after.

38:25Jawad MirAbsolutely. And you know…

38:27Desreta JacksonAfter the fact. After the fact, but...

38:29Jawad MirI'm not a fan of remakes at all.

38:32Desreta JacksonI'm not either. I'm not.

38:34Jawad MirAnd then especially…

38:36Desreta JacksonNo

38:36Jawad Mir... And especially a movie that is so good. You know, it's one thing that you take a movie from the '50s or the '60s which was really badly made, and you try to, you know, up it, sure, but Color Purple is like remaking Schindler's List, or E.T., or, you know, Amistad. Like, those films that are just so powerful. But hey, if they're turning it into a musical and Spielberg is involved in it, there must be something.

39:04Desreta JacksonI was gonna say that because I'm gonna be totally... I'm, I'm way too honest for my own good. I was a little concerned about West Side Stories.

39:13Jawad MirYeah, same here.

39:14Desreta Jackson'Cause that's... When I saw it, I was like, "Okay, Steve. Okay, Steven. Okay." I loved it. I was like... So because of that, I don't know. Let... This might be, you know, definitely, you know, I mean, the... Just by who's doing it, you got Oprah and Steven, and you have a phenomenal cast. I mean…

39:38Jawad MirYeah

39:38Desreta Jackson... Like, I can't wait to see these people and hug them my damn self. I think it's a phenomenal cast. I just hope that, the generation, this generation, is gonna get what the original Color Purple did at that time, from this movie as well.

39:59Jawad MirYeah.

40:00Desreta JacksonSo…

40:00Jawad Mir100%. Although I don't think of kids from this generation will ever understand Color Purple, or even would wanna watch The Color Pur... I... The reason I say that is not because of its theme, but more so because of its pace and duration. You know, I give this example to every time I talk to different people on podcasts is Jurassic Park, the very first one, right? I'm sure you've seen it. It takes... So my kids, they saw Jurassic World first, like, the Jurassic fir… World trilogy first, and you know, they had their best and worst. But when I showed them Jurassic Park, which was the reason that I got into film…

40:41Desreta JacksonOh

40:41Jawad Mir... They're like, "Where..." Right. So the first hour is a setup, right? It's a buildup. So they're, they're like, "Where are the dinosaurs?"

40:53Desreta JacksonOh, that's too funny.

40:57Jawad MirI mean, they…

40:58Desreta JacksonI never

40:58Jawad Mir... They're, they're, they're right in a way because nowadays, a lot of movies…

41:04Desreta JacksonYou get into it

41:04Jawad Mir... Yeah, you have to get into stuff. Like, even when I'm making a film, any film that I've made, I have to keep in mind that I have to hook the audience in the first minute and a half, two minute, or you lose them.

41:15Desreta JacksonYes. Yes. You know, I heard that's what something Spielberg used to say, too. I heard that his whole thing was within the first two minutes…

41:26Jawad MirYeah

41:27Desreta Jackson... The audience must be invested.

41:29Jawad MirYeah.

41:30Desreta JacksonAnd that was, with The Color Purple, one of the reasons he did this major c… on call. So I'm actually flattered that, you know, I was cast.

41:43Jawad MirYeah, no.

41:44Desreta JacksonSo yeah. So that's true. Within the first two minutes.

41:49Jawad MirWell, I think your agent said that you have 45 minutes, so it is 1:45, or it is 11:45.

41:54Desreta JacksonYeah.

41:56Jawad MirSorry?

41:58Desreta JacksonThey keep flashing minutes to me, like...

42:02Jawad MirNo, this was, this was... I have done about 25 or 26 of these. This was the most open conversation I've had, and I appreciate you sharing some of the most deepest personal things. It was a pleasure talking to you.

42:20Desreta JacksonThank you. It was a pleasure talking to you. Bye.

42:24Jawad MirBye-bye.