'Aftermath', Actor, Shahjehan Khan

0:08Jawad MirWelcome back everyone to another episode of Kingdom of Dreams Podcast. I'm your host Jawad Mir. Today my guest is Shah Jahan Khan, who is an actor who, appeared in Netflix film Aftermath, which topped the charts, in the last, month or two, and he's also worked on a whole lot of other projects, including For All Mankind. He's part of a band. He does a lot of different things, and our conversation was not just limited to m… ac… and our conversation was not just limited to acting, but also to life, to mental health, to dealing with certain difficulties in life, et cetera. So without further ado, here's my conversation with Shah Jahan Khan. So what got the acting bug?

0:48Shahjehan KhanI mean, honestly, I'd like making fun of aunties and uncles and my relatives when I was a kid. I just was always a performer, you know… ... Of some ki… And then I started doing plays when I was very young, also like sixth, seventh grade. And you know, I was good at it. And then it was kind of like simultaneously music stuff was happening. So that kind of like took precedence for a good portion of my teenage and young adult life. But, the acting stuff was always something that I wanted to do. And then, about I guess maybe 12 years ago now, I would say, 10, 12 years ago, I kinda started to... A… a… after like the touring with, Kaminas had kind of died down, and I was, I was sober. I was back in college. I kinda just like wanted to give it a, give it a real sh… just one thing kinda led to another, you know? Like I'm, I'll be 42 this year. I've, I've always sort of like just c… not done what I want in that sense, but just kind of like creatively just never fully been satisfied and moved on to the next thing and whatever. And yeah, with acting stuff, yeah, I started doing plays again here in Boston and, you know, I got a local agent, you know, a year or so into it, and then I basically, I didn't book really any real work for years and years and years.

2:09Shahjehan KhanI was like booking like corporate videos and like being the diverse Muslim character in like corporate training modules and shit like that. And then just I would say the last two or three years, you know, things have picked up, whatever that means. You know, it's a crazy business and industry.

2:30Shahjehan KhanAnd, you know, it's certainly, I'm, I'm still very much like a struggling artist. You know, this is really what I do. Not just, I mean, I do a bunch of different things to, like, survive. I have like six or seven different jobs. But yeah, I m… I think, like, my first big feature film role, was here in Boston as well, which I think we'll probably talk about, called Aftermath. And then from, and that same y… yeah, and so I mean, things, I started, I got like sort of better representation and stuff, and then, yeah man, it's been kind of like a weird sort of a ride. So I'm just, I'm just along for the ride to see what happens.

3:09Jawad MirAmazing. So I did go through your IMDb, and IMDb is normally not all the time correct. But…

3:15Shahjehan KhanSure

3:16Jawad Mir... So you've done…

3:16Shahjehan KhanWhat does it say right now? I'm just curious.

3:18Jawad MirOh, I don't know. I'm just, I've spoken to so many people on this podcast, and I would say something, "Oh, you worked on this?" I'm like, "No, I did not." I'm like, "Well, IMDb said…"

3:26Shahjehan KhanOh.

3:26Jawad MirRight?

3:26Shahjehan KhanI mean, I don't have that much stuff, so I'm sure it's, it's, it's still right, you know?

3:29Jawad MirYeah, but just going through, so you worked on a lot of shorts, and then I think I saw…

3:33Shahjehan KhanYeah

3:33Jawad Mir... That you worked on the epis… one episode of Succession. I have, I have never seen…

3:36Shahjehan KhanYes

3:36Jawad Mir... Succession, so I don't know.

3:39Shahjehan KhanYeah

3:39Jawad Mir... But then yous have worked on Aftermath, which I just finished watching, and, I hadn't even heard of that film until I recognized…

3:47Shahjehan KhanI know, man. It's a silly, it's a silly action mo… it's not, it's funny because it was like, so Aftermath and, Succession, and this other, Lifetime movie, like a murder mystery, those all happened in the same year basically. And, like I said, after years of not doing anything, and it's, and yeah, it was kind of like, and also because it's like a Boston-based movie, it…

4:12Shahjehan Khan... Just post-COVID, you know, when this like, yeah, we don't really go in for auditions in person anymore. And a… and like I said, I, dude, I'd been auditioning for movies for years and years, not booking anything. And this was o… a big project that came to Boston, but then, and then it was during COVID, and it was this like weird thing, and it was sort of surreal that we were doing it during all of this. And then it sort of went away. Nobody knew w… what the deal was with this movie. It was this big budget but still indie thing. The director was this really cool guy, who's done some pretty cool, you know, horror, thriller stuff. He's kind of like a legend in that, and he was Wes Craven's editor for like Scream and stuff.

4:53Shahjehan KhanAnd it was just, it was my first time ever on like a real set with lines, you know? And it was absolutely terrifying, but I just like hopped in, and it, and it was like going from having really never done anything to being, like a action person, having like a stunt double, a trailer, and like a gun, and all this crazy shit. But it was a, yeah, so that happened. And then yeah, we didn't know what was gonna happen to it, and then the strike happened too a couple years later.

5:26Shahjehan KhanAnd it just sort of went away. Even the director didn't know what the deal was with the movie, and I stayed in touch with him, and then he was like, we found out last year that it was gonna come out, you know, but it would come to like, it wasn't gonna have some big opening. It was gonna open in like one theater in like Poland or like Poland, Uganda, maybe the UK, like one theater on Staten Island somewhere. So there wasn't gonna be any premiere. So I just was like, "Yeah, whatever. I'll just get together with my friends and watch it." And you know, we had a laugh. You know, it's like, it's, it's, it's like a, whatever. It's like a bro-y, you know, action movie thing, and actually I know the writer quite well. And And then we just sort of knew that it would live on Netflix, you know? And I just, honestly, I just thought, like, "Look, it's cool. I got to do some stuff, and there's some cool stuff I can finally put in my reel," you know, that's not, like, a student film or whatever. But then it actually went to number one in the US and the UK and... For, like, a week, you know?

6:26Jawad MirYeah.

6:26Shahjehan KhanI don't know what these things even mean these days, to be honest with you, but it was so s… it was a very big deal for, like, a couple of weeks that, like... And there was this, I think I've probably sent you, sent you guys an article maybe about it, but there's an article in Forbes about, like, how did this, like, random-ass movie, like, do this w… you know, like, and it kind of, like, 'cause b… it didn't have any of this marketing stuff behind it and,.. But yeah, I've been talking for a while. You feel free to jump in and ask me questions if you decide…

6:52Jawad MirNo

6:52Shahjehan Khan... I was like, yeah.

6:52Jawad MirYou're fine. I rather you talk than me, but, I, that's how I found out. It's funny because I read this article and a day or two later, or maybe a week later, I can't remember, I was talking to Zakir.

7:07Shahjehan KhanOkay.

7:07Jawad MirAnd, he talked about, you know, a bunch of different things they're talking about, and your name came up, and then that, those two things got together. Like, it was just a very…

7:18Shahjehan KhanI've talked to, so that's how you guys…

7:19Jawad MirYeah. That was a re… really, interesting thing that, how that happened. And I saw the film and, you know, it was, it was an interesting concept. It was action and, again, for it to be number one, I don't know how these things work either. Like, how does that…

7:36Shahjehan KhanI don't either

7:37Jawad Mir... Like, for example, Contam… what was that movie? Contagion, from Steven Soderbergh.

7:43Shahjehan KhanYeah. Yeah.

7:44Jawad MirThat came out in 2009. That made sense to me that it went berserk during COVID because it was…

7:50Shahjehan KhanYeah

7:50Jawad Mir... Relevant, right?

7:51Shahjehan KhanYeah.

7:51Jawad MirBut there are a couple other movies like Happy Gilmore or some other movies that have gone completely number one or two.

7:58Shahjehan KhanSure.

7:58Jawad MirI don't know how that happens, but good for you that it happened. And…

8:02Shahjehan KhanNo, and it, yeah, and it was, like, the timing of it was such that, you know, also, a big, it's been a big year for me with this other show I'm on, Deli Boys, and stuff, and it's all just sort of sequential. After years of, again, after years of not booking anything or whatever, and a lot of people were, I think people maybe mistakenly assume sometimes that, like, wow, it's just overnight, you know, this stuff happens. And it's like…

8:21Jawad MirNo, it's…

8:21Shahjehan Khan... Of course not. Takes decades.

8:23Jawad MirYeah.

8:24Shahjehan KhanBut yeah, it just, it ended up just kind of being cool and, you know, it was like, it was the thing that sort of, you know, for like a week or two, people were recognizing me in random places and stuff, and it was sort of random. And, but I think the other thing about the movie is that it did have a couple of, like, notable stars in it, too. Diechen, who's in Severance, and then, Dylan Sprouse, of course, and then Mason, who's, Gooding, was Cuba Gooding Jr.'s son. And yeah, I don't know. Like, I have no idea how it all happened.

8:54Jawad MirWell…

8:55Shahjehan KhanAnd yeah, it was a, it was a crazy couple weeks and, yeah.

8:58Jawad MirI didn't know you were in Deli Boys because I haven't seen it. I saw the trailer, I think, couple of weeks ago or whenever the trailer came out

9:05Shahjehan KhanOkay

9:05Jawad Mir... Or a bit after that. So that's, that's interesting. So it's, you know, I…

9:09Shahjehan KhanYeah. I'm, it's my first recurring, role, so it's actually pretty fun.

9:13Jawad MirWhat do you play? Who do you play?

9:15Shahjehan KhanI play a gangster, a gangster named Ali Sahir, in the dark side of the drug-dealing Pakistani crime family, so.

9:22Jawad MirOkay.

9:23Shahjehan KhanYeah. It's a pretty great show, man. I'm, honestly, it's like, and I'm not just saying it 'cause I'm in it.

9:26Jawad MirYeah.

9:26Shahjehan KhanLike, I would watch it if I wasn't in it, and, it's such a p… it's a really cool moment, you know, I think for a lot of reasons. But yeah, it's just, it's a really fun show, and it was, like, the time of my life making that thing.

9:40Jawad MirSo it's, obviously a finished production. Is it, like, a miniseries or, like, a seasonal or? Sorry, I don't know much about it, so if you can just fill me in just a little bit on that'd be…

9:49Shahjehan KhanOh, yeah. Sure. No, I had, whoever your, the person who had set the pod mentioned it to your, assistant person.

9:57Jawad MirOh, okay. Okay.

9:57Shahjehan KhanBut, it, yeah, it's a s… it's the first season of a show about, two Pakistani, it's about a Pakistani American family. There's these two brothers who are just kind of, like, hapless idiots…

10:09Jawad MirYeah

10:09Shahjehan Khan... Who, they're sort of spoiled rats in different ways, and their dad dies in a freak, accident, a golfing accident in the first episode. And the sons inherit this family business. And, then it turns out to be sort of a front for cocaine trafficking inside of a, essentially, there's, like, a cocaine in a jar container business…

10:36Jawad MirNice

10:37Shahjehan Khan... Around the country, so it's pretty fun. It's very, it's like, it's, it's… m… m… it's like com, dark comedy

10:44Jawad MirYeah

10:45Shahjehan Khan... In a sense. Like, there's, like, Sopranos elements to it, too, because of the mob stuff. There's a whole host of really cool guest stars, and it was a real honor to kinda, like, work with some people that I'd looked up to my whole life and stuff and…

10:57Jawad MirAmazing. I wanna touch upon a couple of things and, you still there?

11:03Shahjehan KhanYeah, I'm here.

11:04Jawad MirOh, okay. You just kinda froze.

11:06Shahjehan KhanYeah, you froze as well for a second.

11:08Jawad MirOkay. I wanna touch upon two things, and if it's a little personal, please feel free to skip it.

11:16Shahjehan KhanSure

11:16Jawad Mir... One is, you know... I'm hearing these weird sounds. Do you hear that?

11:23Shahjehan KhanWhat's up?

11:24Jawad MirLike a click sounds. Are you hearing anything like that?

11:28Shahjehan KhanI don't think so.

11:30Jawad MirOkay, that's weird. Anyways, that's what, like, somebody's walking.

11:35Shahjehan KhanOh, m… it might be my n… I mean, I have these noise-canceling headphones on, so maybe I'm not hearing everything.

11:39Jawad MirOh, okay. Okay. So the w… first part is, you know, every, and not just in your case, in anyone's case, even someone like Ben Affleck, I'm just using for the sake of using the name

11:53Shahjehan Khan'Cause he's a Boston guy like me.

11:54Jawad MirYeah. And, you know, it's, a lot of people assume that you get to where you are, like, because, you know, just overnight. Like, there's just this assumption that people have, even with social media, like, you know, you look at people's life that, you know, even if they're flaunting their money or their whatever, there's this assumption that you have become successful overnight, and obviously that's not the case, right? And what's the definition of success? For somebody like, you know… Who is starting out, you might be a successful figure for them. For someone like Ben Affleck, again, you might be okay figure for them. But those struggles that you've had, if you wanna touch upon them a little bit, like what was the most down point where you doubted yourself, to a point where it was like, "Okay, I'm done with this," if that, there was ever?

12:45Shahjehan KhanOh, sure. I mean, dude, that never goes away. I don't think…

12:49Jawad Mir100%.

12:49Shahjehan KhanYeah, I mean, for at least anyone who has purs… i… in terms of art and stuff, like I've redid… luckily, like for me, I've had different eras in my life and redefined myself in many different ways. I'm also very open about, mental health stuff, so I've, I've been in recovery for, 14 years now. You know, I've been like a touring, drugged out punk rock guy, you know? Like I... In my 20s, I had one idea of what success had to look like, and, you know, the band had to make it, and if we weren't gonna, like, if we didn't take o… if we, like, you know, I think I al… I also, one thing that I, that has come with age is this idea that like, just becau… you know, just because you maybe have like a regular job or something and you're still doing your art, that you're just as much of a artist as anybody else, you know? And I think that, it took me a long time. Like look, like I was saying before, like I'm, I'm very much, for sure, I'm basically, in terms of everything I ever like, wanted to do as a kid, I've done.

13:58Shahjehan KhanI've done, I've gotten to play in like a band, I've toured all over the world, I've played concerts. I basically just wanted to say something in a movie and like say something in a TV show. Those were my goals, and I've already done those. So in that sense, like of course I'm a success. But like, the down… I mean, I don't know if it's like capitalism or like, you know, the expectations that... And I don't know if this is not just for Desi people, but like, just the idea that like, you know, you're not filling in, you know, whatever your parents like, you know, hoped and dreamed for you. And, yeah, I mean, I was literally just on the phone yesterday dri… I had this opportunity, I can't really talk about it right now, but…

14:42Jawad MirIt's fine

14:43Shahjehan Khan... To do something, to like, kind of like once again redefine myself, and I'm, I'm actually w… if I w… like I always envisioned like it being an easier yes or no if I ever got that kind of thing, but it's kind of like the downside and the upside now are that now that I, like I have done all these things and I have all these like, responsibilities and like, if I don't do one, if I do one thing, sometimes it means I can't do the other thing, and then if I like... It, and like, I'm not gonna lose any of them, but just in the moment it just feels like, ah, sometimes I wish that like, look, I have a master's degree also in community psychology. I worked in behavioral health and, you know, studied addiction and stuff. And, so like, yeah, I, a… a… and I don't have kids. You know, like I'm married, but like my wife and I are not gonna have kids. We might adopt or something later in life. So I mean, the, I just think there's like, at least for me, there's always, that question never really g… goes away.

15:46Shahjehan KhanYou just have like different degrees of being okay with yourself, and like as l… for m… as long as you're like just still making stuff and doing it and showing up every day, you know, not to sound too like whatever, to me, that's like really what the success is. And it's, yeah, it's just ta… it's taken a really long time to kind of like understand that. But yeah, absolutely, man. I've, I've, I don't have dark days in the sense of maybe that I used to 15, 16 to 20 years ago in terms of like really severe mental health, you know, suicidal ideation, that kind of thing, really bad substance abuse related stuff. But the doubt, yeah, the doubt is absolutely, you know, it's there.

16:29Jawad MirAnd since you opened the topic about…

16:30Shahjehan KhanDid that even remotely answer your question, or did I just go on some like crazy ass tangent?

16:32Jawad MirYeah. No, it did. No. Dude, listen. It's, this is like a conversation, right? And I…

16:38Shahjehan KhanYeah

16:38Jawad Mir... And I really appreciate your openness, because being vulnerable in front of the world, is not an easy thing to do, something that I think all of us, struggle with because there's always this sense of, you know, being judged, right? But the fact that you're able…

16:57Shahjehan KhanYeah

16:57Jawad Mir... Able to do that's kudos to you.

16:59Shahjehan KhanDude, I've had a lot of practice and I've had a lot of help, man. And honestly, like, a lot of my life is documented whether I like it or not, so there's a whole documentary about my band, you know, that's out there, you know. There's like, I made a podcast about mental health and stuff too, so yeah, I'm very, I'm very open about these things.

17:17Jawad MirAnd tell me about, because you brought the mental health and the drug and, being so… so… so… sober and everything, what, I mean, I know like when you're in a band, like those things happen, right? We've seen so many movies like that. I know people who have gone through that.

17:34Shahjehan KhanIt's not just band. You know, I think the band is the, it's the e… it's a little bit easier because it's like maybe expected, but that stuff is everywhere, you know?

17:41Jawad MirNo, I know. But there's a stereotype maybe…

17:44Shahjehan KhanSure

17:44Jawad Mir... Because it's in the movies that you see.

17:46Shahjehan KhanYeah.

17:46Jawad MirBut I think the thing with bands is, again, it's not just one, that because you're, especially if you're on a tour, right? You're always behind the stage and there's always this frustration and panic and fear, and to be able to deal with that, you can call it whatever, you know, as a group or as an individual, you go through that. Do you remember the first time that your parents found out that you were…

18:16Shahjehan KhanOh, yeah.

18:17Jawad MirWhat was that?

18:18Shahjehan KhanOh, this, that was way before, man, that was way before, the band or anything. That was like, I literally…

18:23Jawad MirOkay

18:25Shahjehan KhanMy parents went to a... They didn't even leave the… it's a very classic American, I think…

18:30Jawad MirPlease

18:31Shahjehan Khan... Suburban story or they didn't even leave the state. They went to a Shadi, like 45 minutes away, and I just decided to throw a party at the house. And like, I had been, you know, I'd been starting to get fucked up and stuff for like a year. And they came back early because like my… somebody wasn't feeling well, and they came back to this house full of fucking crazy shit, and it was a horrifying experience. You know, I'm… we're joking about it now, but at the time, they are my,.. After having gone through all this together as a family, they're like my... The way that, the ways that they have been there for me and supported me, you know, my parents and my sisters and stuff, I c… I can't even put into words. But at the time, you know, they had no frame of reference for this stuff. My parents were, even out of their siblings or their, in their communities growing up in Pakistan or here, they were kind of both the goody two-shoes, you know, not, never really doing anything. So they just had no frame of reference for this kid who has like milk all over his shirt and like cookie crumbs all over his face, and there's like a bong in the middle of the room or whatever.

19:35Shahjehan KhanAnd they didn't really know how to deal with it, and we kind of like, you know. But f… and I didn't even understand it as an addiction maybe at the time. It did get pretty bad for me pretty quickly, and I'm talking about my like 14, 15, 16 years old. And it wasn't until much later that like, you know, when I first went away to college, and then I realized that like I couldn't... I just assumed that, you know, you leave the town, you go to college, and everything will work itself out, and that's when stuff got really bad. So then I kind of had to come home and be like, "Hey guys, I really think I have a problem. Like, I think something else is going on." And that's when, you know, we started to, g… I s… they, you know, got me into therapy. I started to go to the hospital and treatment and stuff, and then they went through, you know, I think one of the darkest periods for my whole family. But on the outside of that, in just another month, my mom and I are actually gonna be on a panel together. A friend of mine started a women's health organization, and she's gonna be talking about...

20:36Shahjehan KhanShe's gonna kind of be the featured guest, but we're gonna talk about mental health in the family. You know, she started a mental health group at a, at our masjid here in Massachusetts. Parents reach out to me all the time, you know, if, like even if their kid's like smoking a little weed or something and they're like afraid he's gonna be a, they're gonna be a drug dealer or something. But like, I'm always down to talk to people. I go to meet… I go, I'm pretty active in the recovery community. But to he… it's probably the most important thing about me, honestly. And it's really because I have a handle on that stuff now, like it makes everything else possible, and it makes... Yeah. So, but yeah. I've again forgotten what your original question was.

21:18Jawad MirNo, you answered it.

21:19Shahjehan KhanBut yeah.

21:19Jawad MirDo you remember the first time how you got on the, on drugs, and was it peer pressure?

21:26Shahjehan KhanOh. I mean, just friends, dude. I mean, looks... And when I say drugs, like I was addicted to s… to cannabis, man. Like, so I'm not, you know, I did, I did other things…

21:34Jawad MirOkay, so it's not…

21:34Shahjehan Khan... Here and there.

21:34Jawad MirYeah.

21:35Shahjehan KhanBut yeah, and I mean, I'm not saying it, mostly people are fi… I'm not one of these people that's like, "Just because I'm sober, everybody has to be," or whatever. But for me it got emotionally, you know, pretty bad. So, and it was kind of like a comorbidity with depression and different things like that, so I feel like it just kind of made things worse. But yeah, it was just like the way, you know, people, you just do it when you're like a kid and you don't know that, you know, it's, you're... I just latched onto it, you know?

22:05Shahjehan KhanAnd it very quickly became, who I was, so.

22:09Jawad MirIt's an interesting journey that you have had, and I'm, I'm ju… I'm not a psychiatrist, but you may, you probably are way more than I could even guess.

22:18Shahjehan KhanI mean, who are we? Yeah, we're all, you're, you're doing fine.

22:21Jawad MirBut you talked about how you have done all these different things in life, right? From one thing to another to another to, which is great. I think it's phenomenal because it keeps you inventive, it keeps you going. If it works for you, it works for you. It may not work for somebody else. But do you think there's a connection between that life a… with the kind of things that you went through in life at the early years with…

22:47Shahjehan KhanYeah, for sure, man. Absolutely. I think that, this idea of never fully fitting into like one thing and, you know, is a, you know, can be both a blessing and a curse. I think that, constantly maybe being, looking to like redefine yourself can, it can be tough sometimes, you know? But I think the cool part now is like, I don't know, it's actually kind of, it's, I don't know, I just think it kind of makes life interesting and makes you an interesting person, you know, to l… to not like, you know. What were you gonna say?

23:24Jawad MirYeah. It does. So again, just a thought, right?

23:28Shahjehan KhanYeah.

23:28Jawad MirSo it's like maybe is it, do you think there's like a subconscious level fear that because you were, in a part of your life went through a lot of stuff, addiction and all that… ... That you don't want to be, again, this is just an example, be necessarily addicted to one kind of profession?

23:47Shahjehan KhanOh, that's interesting. I never, I never thought about it in those terms.

23:52Jawad MirThat there's somehow this…

23:53Shahjehan KhanMaybe not ex…

23:53Jawad MirYeah. Go on.

23:54Shahjehan KhanMay… maybe not exactly that. I think maybe it's more of a simpler notion of like, you know, we all wanna leave some kind of legacy, and we all wanna feel like we mattered and stuff. And like I said, you know, I'm not having kids or anything like that. But I think just wanting, yeah, just wanting to like leave something behind, you know? And not, and maybe like not, being entirely satisfied that, you know, for 10 years it was like, "All right, I'm gonna leave music. I'm gonna leave these albums and these songs." And then maybe it's like, "No, I wanna be… You know, express myself through the stage or through, you know, through plays or, like, through, film and TV and stuff. I don't know about being a... I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think of it in the way that you framed it, 'cause it's interesting. No one's ever asked me that before. I don't th… yeah, I'm not sure that I w… I see it that way, but I understand what you're…

24:49Jawad MirOkay

24:49Shahjehan Khan... What you're questioning.

24:49Jawad MirNo, that's fine.

24:50Shahjehan KhanYeah.

24:51Jawad MirAnd what's... What has been the most... If you, if somebody was to ask you, m… as I'm gonna ask you, what is one moment in your life, and if you can be detailed about it, that has been the highest… ... And the lowest? Which you kind of may have answered, but if you can just go into a bit more deeper into that, I'd be very interested to know. I think you have a very fascinating story, man. I honestly wasn't expecting all this, but this is lovely. I love it. Not…

25:24Shahjehan KhanSure

25:25Jawad Mir... You know, just from a story standpoint.

25:27Shahjehan KhanNo, man. Of course. Just the first thing that came to mind when you said that was, in 2017, my Caminos band, we were invited to play a huge festival in Casablanca in Morocco. And going out onto the stage, the just enormous, you know, bigger than anything I, and have ever done since, musically. Going for soundcheck in the morning, and they are playing on the speakers, they just happen to be playing my favorite band, Rage Against the Machine, to do the soundcheck, and I'm about to check my... And then being like, "Holy shit, I fucking did it." Like, "Look at this." So I guess that's, that's a high. I mean, I'll give one more high because I've had so many…

26:21Jawad MirPlease

26:21Shahjehan Khan... Recently.

26:22Jawad MirPlease

26:22Shahjehan Khan... I would say Aftermath, man. Like, getting, showing up there that first day, like, I was so used to being a background actor or extra or some, you know, having never had a line in a movie, that I went to the wrong... And I've told this story before, I think. But I just assumed I was going to the normal, like, with the holding they call it, the background actor holding. And I went and I sat there, and I saw this other guy who was, he was wearing the thing that I was pretty su… 'cause I had been to the costume fitting a few days before. He was wearing that exact outfit, and he was like, we didn't w… he was, like, much taller, but he's also shaved head and stuff. And I'm like, "Hey, what's up?" He's like, "Oh, hi, I'm Shahjan." He's like, "Oh, I'm Joseph." and I was like, "Where did you get this suit?" He's like, "Oh, I'm a stand-in for Ozzy." And I was like, "Oh, that's, that's who I'm playing in the mo…" And I didn't even know that I was gonna have, like, a stand-in. And then I'm just sitting there talking to him, and then we start to fill out our SAG, you know, for… normally you have to do that, like your forms…

27:26Jawad MirYeah

27:26Shahjehan Khan... Before the shoots start. And I go to hand the, person. Again, and I'm in the what I think is the place I'm supposed to be sitting, and I go to hand her the form. She's like, "I'm sorry, what's your name?" And I said, "Shahjan." She's like, "Oh, you come with me. Like, you have to come back." And then they took me to a trailer, you know. And so, and then I, like, walked out onto the set. That, and that, everything in that first day was just, like, absolute terror and absolute like, "Dude, this is it. This is it." Like, holy crap, y… you did it, you know? So those are two, like, pretty bi… And I've had so many more, man, still. But those are…

28:04Jawad MirOh, sure. Absolutely

28:04Shahjehan Khan... Those are in terms of cre… creatively. I guess lowest point would, yeah, probably be, in, '20... So the, actually, so this is a story I often tell, so I go to AA and NA meetings pretty regularly. And, often, sometimes you're asked to speak, and for anybody that hasn't been to one, like, they're, they're all different. You know, some you sit in a circle and share. Sometimes there's a speaker. Sometimes, like, you write or meditate or whatever. So every now and then I get asked to tell my story or u… usually o… on my anniversary, like every year, I try to find a meeting and get a little, you know, coin and tell the story. So usually the way that I start those off is I talk about, the very last day that I was, like, out getting high. And in this case, it was January, and I remember the date obviously, it was January 4th of 2011. I had just spent my last, chunk of money just buying some fucking weed, man. And with my band Caminos, I just played this very prestigious show in Boston for New Year's, it's called First Night in the Boston Common. It's one of the best gigs you can get in Boston. And, I wasn't really talking to them, you know, like I was just interested in getting high.

29:24Shahjehan KhanAnd s… they were getting ready to move to New York because things were really taking off for us, and I was just, I couldn't leave my parents' house on, honestly, on a daily basis. I was 27. I was still living with them. And that day I just kinda, like, I drove around and, you know, I aimlessly sort of, like, ended up in, you know, I took myself out to eat, but I just, like, got drunk instead. And then, like, I just ended up in, like, a parking lot alone that night. And I had a pho… at the time I had a flip phone, and I was going through my phone and looking at all these people that I knew, like, all over the world, and, you know, people that, like, I looked up. But I just felt like I had let every single one of them down, and that I couldn't, and that I would, like, never be, like, okay. And that was, that end… And that night I almost got arrested. And, that ended up being, you know, the beginning of, like, the new, like, amazing chapter in my life.

30:26Shahjehan KhanSo that's definitely probably the lowest one that comes to memory.

30:32Jawad MirThanks for sharing those, man. I appreciate it.

30:34Shahjehan KhanYeah.

30:34Jawad MirAnd I think, I think with,.. I love the high points because to me, you know, Aftermath's story was obviously from a career standpoint, getting your own trailer and all that is fabulous. But the simplicity of the other story of you just doing a soundcheck and you hear the song, and then you realize, "Oh, shit, I made it," I think it just speaks volume to who you are in terms of where your career has been, personal life has been, and where your career is and where it's gonna go. So that's really cool, man. That's really cool.

31:06Shahjehan KhanThank you. Thanks a lot.

31:08Jawad MirWhat are some of the things that you want to do in life or that…

31:14Shahjehan KhanBoy, oh boy

31:14Jawad Mir... You... I know. That you may not even know right now. Some of them you may not even know right now, right?

31:20Shahjehan KhanYeah.

31:21Jawad MirBecause I think life literally is like I've, I've always had one goal in life is to make films, right? But the way I have gotten to where I've gotten to is something I had never expected and I planned…

31:32Shahjehan KhanTotally

31:32Jawad Mir... Because I n… And I believe it's like a 10 chapter, 10-year chapters of your life. Like, every 10 years things…

31:39Shahjehan KhanOh, yeah

31:39Jawad Mir... Change, right?

31:41Shahjehan KhanYes.

31:41Jawad MirLike, you get, in a sim… small way or a big way. So do you have any…

31:45Shahjehan KhanAnd if you're fortunate, every decade is better than the last, man. Then that's…

31:49Jawad Mir100%

31:49Shahjehan Khan... The case for me. What do I still wanna do? That is such a good question. Part of me feels like maybe I wanna, like, go back to school for something. I actually... So I dropped out of college three ti… you know, when I was, in between, the, like, high, post-high school mental health stuff and Kaminas. Like, I dropped in and out of school many ti… I didn't really go back till I was 27, till after that, you know, essentially a few months after that, the lowest story that I was telling you.

32:26Shahjehan KhanAnd I got a master's and stuff. And, I actually loved, like, being in school and, like, the really nerdy stuff. I just liked doing assignments and, like…

32:36Jawad MirReally?

32:36Shahjehan Khan... Getting my work. I just like getting my work done on, because I was such a disa… and I, it's, like, I was such a disaster as a kid. Like, just something about, like, turning your shit in on time, you know? Like, I don't know. And part of me has, you know, a lot of my friends have done, like, whether they're musicians or that ki… actually, I guess a lot of musicians in their older years become academics or whatever. I don't know that I'm like... I'm a little, I'm very sarcastic. Like, I know it might not come off like this, so I don't know how, I don't know how well I would do in, like, a PhD program where you have to, like, talk about, like, yourself and stuff, you know? But something s… some part of me feels like there's some… something like that. I also do wanna do a little bit more, I think, in, at some redefining point in my life when none of this, when all this art shit falls apart. I did really enjoy, working in, like, in the, like, behavioral health sort of field. Like, I...

33:37Shahjehan KhanA lot of people when they get sober, they wanna be therapists, you know, and, social workers or something. And honestly, the best ones, I would argue, are that have some empathy, you know. That doesn't mean it's for everybody. So I actually, while I was in grad school, I was working nights at this, it turned out to be sort of a, not the greatest, facil… facility, but I sort of realized that I, the one-on-one stuff kind of maybe wasn't for me. But I s… but there's still a part of me that likes to, like, help people in some way. So there's something I wanna do with that. There's something I still am aching to do, like, in Pakistan, you know. My, whatever, like, you know, I went in my 20s, with Kaminas and stuff, and, to have my, like, eat, pray, love, you know, thing in Pakistan. But the cool thing about it is I actually still have a lot of friends there in music and in various levels of entertainment and stuff. And I wanna maybe record an a… album there. I wanna work in some, in some film or capacity or whatever. Hopefully, that could happen sometime.

34:38Shahjehan KhanI'm also actually working on a podcast project about 1970s Karachi music. You know

34:45Jawad MirYes. I saw that on your website.

34:47Shahjehan KhanYeah. So then, and then, like, definitely travel, man. You know, like, I remember this is, it's kind of funny, this t… this super, like, tech bro guy asked me this question which he, I don't think he was expecting my answer, where he was like, "Hey, man, like, if you had, like, an endless supply of money, like, what would you do?" And I said, like, "You know," just, you know, you know those questions that you're like, "What's your north star?" Like, whatever. So I just was like, "Honestly, I would probably just, like, take a year and just see every friend that I have all over the world." And he was really taken aback by this answer. And I was like, "Why? What would you do?" He's like, "Well, I guess I would invest it." And I was like, "Dude, you just said it would be, like, endless supplies of money. Like, why would you need more money?" And I don't know. That, it just made me think of that story. I don't really know why I told that, but…

35:34Jawad MirYeah. No. It's…

35:35Shahjehan KhanYeah

35:35Jawad Mir... Fair enough. I, you know, you were talking about going back to school and maybe working in behavior or mental health capacity. There's…

35:43Shahjehan KhanYeah

35:43Jawad Mir... I'm sure you've seen these two movies. Interestingly, they're based on true stories, and both of the characters' names are Frank. Catch Me If You Can.

35:51Shahjehan KhanOf course.

35:52Jawad MirAnd then American Gangster. So Frank…

35:55Shahjehan KhanWell, I didn't even American Gangster, but…

35:56Jawad MirWhich…

35:57Shahjehan Khan... I did see Catch Me If You Can

35:58Jawad Mir... Highly recommend. Highly recommend it. That's why I wouldn't give that away. So Catch Me If You Can, you know how Frank Abagnale, I think his last name was Aba… Abagnale.

36:05Shahjehan KhanAbagnale.

36:06Jawad MirYeah.

36:06Shahjehan KhanAbagnale. Yep.

36:07Jawad MirHow he ended up working with FBI to…

36:10Shahjehan KhanYeah

36:11Jawad Mir... Right?

36:11Shahjehan KhanYeah.

36:12Jawad MirSo I think people who go through, people who go through certain things, and if they're really able to cope out of it, can really make a huge difference in the part that they…

36:23Shahjehan KhanYeah

36:23Jawad Mir... Were struggling with. So I think maybe…

36:25Shahjehan KhanAbsolutely

36:25Jawad Mir... That could be something. I don't know, but that could be something that you probably will explore for a certain period of time in your life.

36:32Shahjehan KhanYeah.

36:32Jawad MirAnd I think it's probably gonna happen to you, my guess is, in early 50s

36:37Shahjehan KhanAchha. To kya main Homeland Security join karke phir… Yeah.

36:43Jawad MirWhat does that have to do with anything?

36:46Shahjehan KhanNo, it's just...

36:48Jawad MirNo, I'm just saying because I find a lot of people start doing that. I'm not in my 50s, I'm 48, but I know people in their 50s, they start reflecting back way more on some of the intricate details of their life that were missed out on.

37:04Shahjehan KhanOh, main to pata nahi bachpan se nostalgic insaan hoon. I'm al… I'm always maybe too much…

37:10Jawad MirNot maybe too much, but…

37:11Shahjehan KhanBut no, but I completely, I totally get what you're... And I appreciate what you're saying. So I hope that's the case, you know, by the time I'm 50, so.

37:19Jawad MirGreat, man. And let's go back to Aftermath.

37:22Shahjehan KhanYeah.

37:23Jawad MirSo, you know, you're, you're, that scene where you have, you have two or three scenes if my memory serves me right.

37:31Shahjehan KhanYeah.

37:32Jawad MirRight?

37:32Shahjehan KhanI think so. Something like that.

37:33Jawad MirAnd I think I, one of the things I really liked was, so when they take the girl away, the sister, and…

37:41Shahjehan KhanYes

37:42Jawad Mir... You know, you have a gun in your hand. I honestly was expecting that even after being afraid for, like, five, six seconds, you will just pull out and shoot. But the fact that you didn't, obviously it's written in the script, that moment I really liked because I think somebody who's never held a gun before, it's not that easy to be able to pull that off. And to portray that in the performance that you did very briefly was very convincing.

38:08Shahjehan KhanThank you very much. My, I really appreciate that. I actually remember that scene, that... So that was the f… that whole sequence was my very first day. And, I remember having lunch with the director, Patrick, after, and, you know, asking typical, like, "Did I do okay, man? Am I fucking up your movie, bro? I've never done this before." Like, just, you know, he's like…

38:32Jawad MirOh, you s…

38:32Shahjehan Khan"Listen"…

38:33Jawad Mir... Said it like that?

38:34Shahjehan KhanOh, 100%. He li… I remember because I was, I was walking over to the food area or whatever, the catering, and, I was walking back to sit by myself or whatever, and Patrick was like, "Hey, come sit with me." And I'm just like, "Okay, this is, sure." And so I just, and we started talking and he, and he said, and I don't s… I mean, he said to me, "Listen, man, you're a magnificent actor." And that's one of those things that, like, I don't know if he knows how much that, like, meant to me in that moment on that first day, you know, where I just was so, like, just riddled with doubt the whole day, you know, that, like, "Can I fucking do this?" You know? Like, so yeah, I remember that, remember that very well.

39:20Jawad MirAmazing, man. That's really cool for him to s… say that to you.

39:24Shahjehan KhanOh, yeah. No, and we're, dude, we're such good friends now. We're, we're in, we're in touch all the... I'd see him when I'm out in LA, and he's still such a fan and such a supporter of me and, like, watches all my stuff and, you know. It ju… it's just, like, I've been very fortunate, I think, to... I think because it's, and we were talking about this earlier, because it's taken so long, like, I really don't take any of this stuff for granted, man. Like, I'm not, I'm just so, like, yeah. Like I really try to, you know, connect with people, and yeah, it's, it's, yeah. I don't, I don't really even know what I'm trying to say, but.

40:05Jawad MirNo, I hear you. I completely agree with you because I do think that there's certain things that you are not able to get in life, any… anybody…

40:15Shahjehan KhanYeah

40:15Jawad Mir... When you want them is because of a reason that you will do better at it at later stage in life because of your maturity.

40:24Shahjehan KhanYeah.

40:24Jawad MirAnd I truly believe that, and I think that's a blessing, not at the moment when you're wanting it, but later…

40:31Shahjehan KhanRight

40:31Jawad Mir... In life you realize it, right? So.

40:32Shahjehan KhanRight.

40:33Jawad MirAmazing, man. So any… anything else that you wanna share that's coming up beside, I mean, I know you're working on Delhi Boys and a few other projects.

40:41Shahjehan KhanYeah. We're, I mean, we're hoping for, you know, everybody's hoping for a season two. If not, look, it was the, it was the dream come true, so if I ne… I, after Delhi Boys, I was like, dude, if I never got to act again, I'm fucking satisfied, honestly. I have a bunch of music stuff coming up. My band Rubbi Shubbi is recording a new album next year, next month. It's a band I've been in for about three, four years now. I'm not actually on any of their recordings yet, so this is, this is also their first album in about seven years. And then I have a couple of indie film projects in development, one that a friend, he's a young Pakistani American director, Saleem Gondal. He actually directed a short that I was in called Post Term back when he was in school.

41:25Shahjehan KhanAnd he's, he's written a feature film with me, as the lead attached, and so we're trying to make that happen later this year, early next year if possible. My wife and I bought a house in November, so that's pretty crazy. I never thought that could happen. So we're like, you know, it's me, my wife, and a, and a, and our cat in this house. So, and yeah, I'm just trying to, like, I'm doing this, I'm, I'm s… I still have all sorts of random gigs to survive, dude. I do audiobooks.

41:58Jawad MirYeah.

41:58Shahjehan KhanI j… I recently started doing live sound, at, like, so there's this local, he's a friend of my father's, Javed uncle, and he basically growing up, he was really pissed. It's such a funny story. He's an engineer naturally, and, he hated the way that, like, the community's events sounded. He just thought we would always have the shittiest PAs and nobody knew how to do sound. So he, like, got into sound, and he, like, really got into it to the point where he started to buy all sorts of sound equipment. He built a music venue in his house, which in here in Massachusetts, in Framingham, which is so legendary that, like, now if Fareed the Os comes from Pakistan on a tour, he always stops at Javed uncle's ho… It's like a barn in his house that he built that's, like, acoustically treated, and it's like a bathtub type venue. So for the last few years he's become, like, the go-to Sound uncle for, like, all these events in New Eng… And it's like, so he just randomly, I don't know, like, I'm always looking for, like, random gigs and shit, so I've s… recently started doing sound with him at, like, events.

43:07Shahjehan KhanIt's actually pretty fun. Some of it's pretty hilarious. But yeah, maybe, I don't know, see me at a, at a Carnatic music concert or, like, a youth dance competition or something. Yeah. Hoping to go on some hikes and, you know, stay healthy and that kind of thing, so.

43:26Jawad MirGood stuff, man. What I love about your attitude is you've kept things very simple, and in some ways you underestimate yourself, which, and as in a positive way, because it keeps you content. I feel that's a g…

43:37Shahjehan KhanYeah

43:37Jawad Mir... That's the assessment that I've gotten. And I think…

43:39Shahjehan KhanI also, I will say I don't, people ask me all the time like, "So when are you gonna move to, like, New York or LA?" I'm like, "Bro, I'm not fucking going anywhere."

43:47Jawad MirYeah, no, I…

43:47Shahjehan KhanLike, I…

43:48Jawad MirYeah

43:48Shahjehan Khan... I don't, I prefer this work to be and remain special to me. You know what I mean? And, like, I just don't wanna just constantly be surrounded by it and then get jaded and, you know, and…

44:01Jawad MirYeah

44:01Shahjehan Khan... That kind of thing, so.

44:03Jawad MirIt should come and choose.

44:03Shahjehan KhanI'll go wherever the work takes me. I'm not saying, like…

44:05Jawad MirYeah

44:05Shahjehan Khan... I'll go fucking live wherever you want for, like, a shoot. I have another f… a science fil… fiction film coming out that I did last year as well. I'll also be on an episode of, The Walking Dead, and then there's a show called For All Mankind on Apple.

44:18Jawad MirYeah.

44:19Shahjehan KhanSo a couple more things coming out this year.

44:20Jawad MirThat's amazing, man.

44:22Shahjehan KhanBut yeah.

44:23Jawad MirGood for you. Yeah.

44:25Shahjehan KhanThank you.

44:25Jawad MirJust keep at it, man. I think one of the things that, you know, life, people, again, not just in our career, in any career, they just become, they make life bigger than themselves. And I think…

44:37Shahjehan KhanYeah

44:37Jawad Mir... To stay at the same level of life is very important, because you seem, you remain at peace, content, and happy, and I think that's pretty much success.

44:46Shahjehan KhanYeah.

44:46Jawad MirRight? So.

44:47Shahjehan KhanYeah.

44:48Jawad MirAmazing, man. Well, thank you so much, man, for being on and sharing your personal stories and details.

44:54Shahjehan KhanOf course.

44:55Jawad MirTruly respect who you are. It's amazing.

44:57Shahjehan KhanThank you so much.